Gray Hair and Minvans

I’ve been religiously dying my hair since my early 30s. Now, 20 years later, the gray hair comes in like weeds and I spend hours at the hairdresser every four to six weeks (depending on my schedule) just to cover them up. After only two weeks, hiding them through creative styling is a daily chore until my next visit.

Recently, I met a youthful, friendly faced woman with a shoulder length, silver bob. She met me with a firm handshake, confidence, and beauty. The encounter rooted a thought in me, “maybe I can grow my gray hair out too”. I began expressing my new interest to a few people in my life, including my hairstylist, and now I’m second-guessing myself with thoughts like:

• The gray will wash out my face and I’ll need to wear a face full of makeup every day.
• I will look older than I am.
• People will know I’m gray if I ever decide to change it.

Each thought was challenged with a reason why I want to try this; the time, the money, the fuss, and the fact that I can make changes if I don’t like it.

The back and forth in my head reminded me of a decision I had to make years ago about getting a minivan. The thoughts about whether to buy a minivan or not were just as foolish as the ones about going gray:

• Minivans aren’t cool.
• Minivans are a sign of getting old.
• People will think I’m a soccer mom!

When I said, “People will think I’m a soccer mom!” out loud to a coworker, his response was, “You are a soccer mom!” because he knew my daughter played soccer at the time.

Wait! What? That was a lightbulb moment. I was a soccer mom, so why would I care if people thought I was a soccer mom. Why was I denying that very important part of my life? After that conversation, I bought my first of several minivans.

Fast forward to today and I’m using the same minivan logic and applying it to my gray hair dilemma. In the same way I was a soccer mom driving a minivan, I am a 50 something year old woman whose hair is mostly gray underneath the dye. So, when people think I’m going gray, they’re right.

I’m not looking to trick anyone about my age and why the hell do I care what they think anyway? One of the advantages of getting older for me is that it’s easier to care less about what other people think. My hair is for the woman in the mirror and what matters is that she is okay with what she sees.

I’m looking forward to my hair freedom with less visits to my hairstylist and less fuss trying to cover it up.

(Note: I’m only three months in on this long journey to gray…I’ll provide an update if my thoughts change on this. 😉)